tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976456421452873396.post1301601758194612870..comments2012-11-17T15:55:04.081-08:00Comments on Recipes and Memories: Memoir-Rough DraftAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00715528260727247039noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976456421452873396.post-5003739339675503762012-10-04T09:54:12.488-07:002012-10-04T09:54:12.488-07:00Taylor,
There were two things that were running t...Taylor,<br /><br />There were two things that were running through my head when I read this:<br /><br />1) the person dying from drinking too much water while waiting to buy the Nintendo Wii.<br /><br />and 2) reading from a blog, which very well could have been yours, about the sensation of hunger is the first sign of being thirsty.<br /><br />Especially when I read this:<br />"I refilled the bottle again. And again. And again. I was possessed by the idea of water being incapable of damaging me that I thought it contained something within it that could heal my own damage, take my own hunger."<br /><br />I enjoyed the imagery of slushing water, and feeling "full and unsatisfied, my tongue chastising me for the lack of taste."<br /><br />Lots of good lines here.Colin Smithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01731981716739473818noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976456421452873396.post-7964193404022869052012-10-04T07:59:22.163-07:002012-10-04T07:59:22.163-07:00To start off, I think you have a wonderful flair f...To start off, I think you have a wonderful flair for the descriptive, a knack for writing things that might sound odd at first but then make complete and perfect sense when you think about it. My only suggestion would be to add more of what you were feeling during the different memories you have here, more of the reasons behind what happened and how you reacted to it. Other than that it's lovely.rworrellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09526452300426595475noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976456421452873396.post-49751189168474892012-10-03T18:06:11.133-07:002012-10-03T18:06:11.133-07:00The title hooked me before I even started reading....The title hooked me before I even started reading. This is a beautiful piece. It almost makes me wish that you used a "slide style", showing us flashes of actions and interactions. I'm not sure how it would work, but in theory I think it might help the flow and highlight the similarities between the different instances. I'm excited to see where this goes. I think you have some great pieces to start with!Vorousmorehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07810453968791491961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976456421452873396.post-4988665854629539762012-10-03T15:30:41.984-07:002012-10-03T15:30:41.984-07:00The way that you end this piece is so moving. The ...The way that you end this piece is so moving. The water scene was absolutely terrifying because the way that you presented yourself at the beginning. Great use of your mother and father to highlight yourself and your experiences. Kelsey Baakhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13651288231939387993noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976456421452873396.post-71787567669347070922012-10-03T11:30:52.105-07:002012-10-03T11:30:52.105-07:00I enjoyed this piece! I loved how you described th...I enjoyed this piece! I loved how you described the room as painted in corn yellow, but I was a little thrown off by the word "happy." This story is really interesting, I am so glad you expanded upon it from class. Thanks for sharing!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01465596743436065996noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976456421452873396.post-2256701365686226252012-10-03T06:43:33.035-07:002012-10-03T06:43:33.035-07:00Taylor,
This piece really made me reflect on the ...Taylor, <br />This piece really made me reflect on the ways my own parents handled food in our house when I was young. I want to know more about the ways you "push the boundaries with food and reject it" today. I also love how you describe the feeling of water "sloshing around" in your stomach after you've had too much of it to drink. Can't wait to discuss this in class!kelseydonkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08890139082702666433noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976456421452873396.post-3513617906162890922012-10-02T21:43:33.321-07:002012-10-02T21:43:33.321-07:00I love this, although it is heartbreaking at the s...I love this, although it is heartbreaking at the same time. I want to see you hoarding the food in your toy box. What an image. I do enjoy how to balance the narrative with scenes like we discussed in class. I love this, "Starving in a land of water: Drowning without Food," ah. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04465058231775042494noreply@blogger.com